The Day I Became a Yogini

By Shivani Satija.

I remember staring at a blank wall at the age of twenty-five, gazing out at the verandah of my mother's beautiful home. A day later, I could no longer look at either. All I could see was the red veil draped across my forehead, casting my world in shades of maroon.

In early twentieth-century Indian society, it was often said that a woman's sole purpose was to serve her husband. I would frequently thank the Almighty that I had not encountered such hardships in my own life. Yet beneath that gratitude lingered an inexplicable emptiness. At the temple, I often found myself sitting alone in silence, searching for answers I could not yet articulate.

Over time, I came to understand that the mind is both the gateway to life's greatest beauties and its deepest challenges. Every action, every encounter, and every circumstance seemed to be woven together through the thread of karma.

I found karma everywhere, in my parents, my work, my children, and my husband. Gradually, I realized that meditation was not limited to sitting with closed eyes and envisioning darkness. To discover the light within oneself, meditation can be practiced with open eyes. It manifests as clarity, awareness, moral conviction, and presence. It is not confined to a mat or a moment; it is omnipresent.

I learned to meditate while walking through the garden, while speaking to my children, and while simply living life as it unfolded before me.

Yog is Union

This realization eventually guided me toward yoga, a practice often misunderstood as merely a tool for physical fitness or mental relaxation. While speaking with a neighbour one day, I was asked what yog truly meant. Like many people, he viewed yoga as a way to stay fit and find peace. Yet these are merely by-products of yog, not its essence.

Yog is union, the harmonization of body, mind, and spirit. The reason I can call myself a yogini today is not because of any certification, but because yog taught me mastery over my own emotions. When misunderstandings arise with loved ones, the mind often spirals into countless directions. Yog gently teaches us to release attachment, anger, ego, and illusion.

The mark of a true yogi lies in the realization that no single person, circumstance, or event possesses the power to destroy one's happiness. The day I began walking toward this understanding was the day I truly became a yogini.

In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna uses the chariot as a profound metaphor for the self. The chariot is the body, the horses are the senses, and the reins are the mind and breath. By steadying the breath and cultivating awareness, we learn to guide the chariot with wisdom rather than impulse. Through this teaching, Krishna reminds us that mastery of the mind begins with mastery of our awareness.

The Path of Tapas

The experiences that shaped my life eventually led me to the path of Tapas.

This retreat is not merely a four-day experience; it is an invitation to begin a lifelong journey. It is designed to help you navigate life's challenges, strengthen your emotional resilience, and build a sanctuary of peace within yourself.

Tapas: Fire and Ice is a powerful journey toward self-realization. Within every inhale and exhale lies a brief pause, an empty space. In that space exist our deepest thoughts, reflections, and insights about the direction of our lives. Through conscious breathing, meditation, and self-observation, we learn to reconnect with ourselves.

The Ice Bath as Meditation

One of the transformative practices within this retreat is the Ice Bath experience. Many people, particularly women, carry stress and emotional burdens that manifest as tension in the neck, shoulders, back, and body. Through this retreat, we seek not only to address these symptoms but to cultivate the inner strength needed to meet life's challenges with courage and grace.

The effectiveness of the Ice Bath lies in its ability to bring us completely into the present moment. Scientifically, exposure to cold activates a powerful survival response that narrows attention and quiets mental noise. In the face of intense sensory stimulation, the mind can no longer dwell on yesterday's worries or tomorrow's fears. It is invited to be fully here, fully alive.

In many ways, the Ice Bath becomes a profound form of meditation. It redirects attention away from the distractions and anxieties that hold us back and toward the vast possibilities that lie ahead. It teaches patience, resilience, awareness, and surrender. It reminds us that we are stronger than we believe.

A Sacred Yatra

Through Tapas, we invite you to embark upon your own sacred yatra, a journey toward clarity, serenity, and self-discovery.

With all our hearts, we hope to make this experience one of the most meaningful chapters of your life. Guided by the dedication, wisdom, and strength that Ashish has shared with us, we aspire to create more than a retreat. We aspire to create a family, a community united by growth, compassion, and transformation.

We look forward to walking this path with you.